（続き）
Sad and yet somewhat angry. ......
Feeling fussy.
Everything is going wrong. With these thoughts in mind, I watered the garden and went to the rubbish station with the bags of food waste I had prepared the night before.
For some reason, I left the house quite late and it was after 5:30am when I went for my morning walk. The sky was already bright enough, and even on a holiday I could recognise each other's clothes and faces if I passed someone going to work. The time was approaching, which is not my favourite time of day. I decided to take a different path and walk as far as I could, looking up at the sky.
Suddenly, I notice something shining between the trees.
The morning sun was shining on a house. I thought of The House of the Rising Sun, and several faces of singers from the past who had sung it passed through my mind. Among them were Sayuri Ishikawa and Morio Agata, who were in the Wim Wenders film.
The song is more suited to the evening darkness. But in fact, the buildings shining in the morning sun do not have the atmosphere of the song.
Houses, apartment blocks and school buildings glowing in the morning sun. ...... No one is around, quiet and peaceful. On a normal walk, the light that coloured the clouds above the sky now seemed to be so close by. There are dark shadows beside the dazzling light, and I am in the shadows, looking at the beautiful light. It was the same as always, but there was a sense of security in the thick shadows created by the nearby light.
Fortunately, I made it home without passing anyone.
My heart had lightened somewhat when I saw what shone in the morning sun.
During the day, for the first time this summer, I noticed cicadas singing in the distance.
悲しくて、しかも、どこか腹立たしいような。……
くさくさした気分。
なにもかもが、うまくいかない。そんなことを思いながら、水を撒き、前夜に用意していた生ごみの袋を持って、ゴミステーションへ行った。
何故か、家を出るのがひどく遅くなってしまい、朝の散歩は５時半を過ぎていた。空は既に充分に明るく、休みの日でも出勤していく人とすれ違えば、お互いの服装や顔が判る。私にとっては苦手な時間が近づいていた。いつもとは違う道を選び、出来るかぎり空ばかり見上げて歩くことにした。
ふと、樹間に輝いているものがあるのに気付く。一軒の家に朝日が当たっていた。「The House of the Rising Sun 」だなと思い、それを歌った過去のシンガーの顔が幾つも過っていった。その中には、Wim Wendersの映画に出ていた石川さゆりやあがた森魚も。
歌は、どちらかと言えば夕闇が相応しい。しかし、実際に、朝日を受けて輝く建物は、あの歌の雰囲気ではない。
朝日に輝く家屋、集合住宅、校舎……。誰もいない、静かで穏やかな時間。普段の散歩では、空の上の雲を彩る光が、今は、すぐ傍にあるように思えた。眩い光の傍には濃い影があり、美しい光を眺めている私は、その影の中にいる。それは、いつもと変わらないのだが、近くにある光が生み出す影の濃さには安心感があった。
幸い、誰にもすれ違わず、家に帰り着いた。
朝日に輝くものを見て、心が幾らか軽くなっていた。
この日、日中、この夏初めて、遠くで蝉が鳴いているのに気付いた。
Bluesky
https://bsky.app/profile/kei-suenobu.bsky.social/post/3lvhlky4w4s2g
The music used for the slides was
jensfelger
a musical advent calendar #7
SoundCloud
